walking program......who wants to take a walk with me?

I just stumbled on this on sparkpeople.com and thought it could be useful. im trying to walk more and maybe one of you readers would want to join me in the beginners program? sorry about the add but i cut and paste it

Beginner Walking Workouts A 12-Week Program that Builds Endurance -- By Jen Mueller & Nicole Nichols, Fitness Experts SparkPeople advertisers help keep the site free! Learn more It’s time to start moving! Walking is an excellent form of exercise, especially for beginners or people returning to fitness after a long time off. This introductory walking program will help you build enough endurance to safely and effectively increase the time that you walk over the course of 12 weeks. You can follow this heart-healthy walking program whether you walk on a treadmill, track, or other outdoor venue. Be sure to refer to ourWalking Guide for more information and resources for walkers. Getting Started Use the FIT (Frequency, Intensity and Time) Principles for a safe and effective workout! Frequency: Try the walking workout listed three times each week, ideally with a day off between workouts to allow your body to recover. If a particular week's workouts feel too tiring for you, repeat that week again before moving ahead to the next week’s workout. Intensity: Walk at a brisk—not leisurely—pace. Don’t worry about your actual speed, but do pay attention to your overall intensity, aiming for 4-6 on a scale of 1-10. You’ll find a full explanation of this Intensity Scale (known as RPE) below the workouts. Time: Try to follow the suggested guidelines to the best of your ability, which means that you'll walk 2-3 minutes more with each passing week. And remember, always warm up and cool down. Warming up at a slow pace will help prepare your joints, muscles and heart for exercise. Cooling down will prepare your body to return to a resting state, help prevent muscle soreness, and prevent illness and injury. Beginner Walking Program Week Warm-up Walk Briskly for Cool Down Total Time 1 5 min. 5 min. 5 min. 15 min. 2 5 min. 7 min. 5 min. 17 min. 3 5 min. 9 min. 5 min. 19 min. 4 5 min. 11 min. 5 min. 21 min. 5 5 min. 13 min. 5 min. 23 min. 6 5 min. 15 min. 5 min. 25 min. 7 5 min. 18 min. 5 min. 28 min. 8 5 min. 20 min. 5 min. 30 min. 9 5 min. 23 min. 5 min. 33 min. 10 5 min. 26 min. 5 min. 36 min. 11 5 min. 28 min. 5 min. 38 min. 12 5 min. 30 min. 5 min. 40 min. Source: Exercise and Your Heart, National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute/American Heart Association, NIH Publication No. 93-1677. An Explanation of Using the RPE Method to Measure Intensity Rate of Perceived Exertion (RPE) may be the most versatile method to measure exercise intensity for all age groups. Using this method is simple, because all you have to do is estimate how hard you feel like you’re exerting yourself during exercise. RPE is a good measure of intensity because it is individualized—it’s based on your current fitness level and overall perception of exercise. The scale ranges from 1 to 10, allowing you to rate how you feel physically and mentally at a given intensity level. 10 Maximum exertion 9 Very hard 8 Extremely hard 7 Hard (heavy) 6 5 Somewhat hard 4 Fairly light 3 Light 2 Very light 1 Rest An RPE between 5 and 7 is recommended for most adults. This means that at the height of your workout, you should feel you are working "somewhat hard" to "hard." The guidelines given for this specific workout program are for beginners and therefore reflect a somewhat lower intensity level.

exercise of the day calf stretch - easy enough right

Starting Position This exercise is done in a standing position. You will begin with feet shoulder width apart. Action Step forward in a half lunge, the back foot is in a fixed position with the knee slightly bent. Stretch the back calf by bending and straitening your back leg while remaining in the half lunge position. Repeat twice with each leg, alternating legs. Hold each stretch approximately 12-15 seconds. Special Instructions To keep balance and really get the best stretch possible, clasp your hands and place them over the top of your front thigh. You may also use one hand on a chair or wall to help your balance as well.

found this on http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/home.asp

25 Cheap Foods that are Good for You!

Get BIG Nutrition for Less Dough

-- By Stepfanie Romine, Staff Writer

Watching your wallet and your waistline can be tricky. Eating right is easy when money is no object, but a trip to the supermarket often yields frustration for healthy eaters on a budget (which is most of us!). Fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean protein are on your list, but they're so much pricier than Ramen noodles, frozen pizzas and bottles of soda!

Sure, some healthful foods are more expensive, but the same rules of smart shopping apply: Price compare, be flexible about brands and choose larger sizes to save money per serving.

To help make your next shopping trip a breeze, but we've scanned the shelves and roamed the aisles to find 25 foods that are nutritious and affordable. (Prices from Safeway.com, March 2009, Greater Philadelphia area. These prices will vary according to location.)

Protein

1. Canned salmon: $2.89 for 14.75 ounces (59 cents per serving)
Get your Omega-3's for less. Salmon is full of these healthy fats, which help lower cholesterol and prevent heart attacks.

2. Chicken breasts: $3.49 per pound (87 cents per serving)
Easy-to-prepare, chicken is full of lean protein, which helps keep you fuller longer.

3. Natural peanut butter: $3.39 for 16 ounces (42 cents per serving)
Skip the sugary, processed varieties and spread the real stuff on whole-grain bread. Throw a tablespoon in smoothies or yogurt, use it as a dip for carrots and pretzels, or mix it with a bit of low-sodium soy sauce, brown sugar and garlic, then thin with water for a quick sauce.

4. Canned beans: 84 cents for 15 ounces (22 cents per serving)
Bulk up soups and stews while getting protein and fiber. Try chickpeas or black beans if you're not a fan of kidneys or pintos. Drain, rinse, and blend with lemon juice, garlic, cumin and a bit of vegetable broth for a quick dip.

5. Eggs: $1.99 for a dozen large (17 cents per serving)
Not just for breakfast, eggs are among the easiest foods to cook. If you're watching your cholesterol, scramble one egg and two egg whites. Add onion and spinach and you've got a great omelet.

6. Dried lentils: 79 cents per pound (20 cents per serving)
Full of protein and fiber, lentils cook in just 15 minutes! Throw some in soups and stews or cook with curry powder for a quick, spicy meal.

7. Almonds: $3.99 for 9 ounces (44 cents per serving)
Get vitamin E, fiber and protein while satisfying a crunchy craving. Nuts are rich in an amino acid that could be linked to heart benefits. Chop a few raw ones and throw them on yogurt.

Fruits

8. Frozen fruit and berries: $2.99-$5.99 per pound (75 cents-$1.50 per serving)
Throw some in the blender with milk or yogurt for a healthy treat. Frozen berries can be used in oatmeal or drained and baked into muffins and quick breads.

9. Apples: 68 cents each
They might not keep the doctor away, but apples are actually full of antioxidants, which help slow the progression of age-related diseases.

10. Bananas: 35 cents each
Slice one on your morning yogurt or oatmeal for some added fiber and only 100 calories or so. Snack on a potassium-rich banana to prevent cramps after a workout.

11. Grapes: $2.99 per pound (75 cents per serving)
Freeze grapes for a low-calorie dessert or snack. Grapes--especially the dark purple ones--contain plenty of antioxidants that are known to help heart health.

Vegetables

12. Romaine lettuce or other hearty lettuce: $1.99 per head (66 cents per serving)
Banish the iceberg and choose sturdy Romaine for your salads. It will give you more fiber and nutrients, plus a satisfying crunch.

13. Carrots: $2.79 for 3 pounds (23 cents per serving)
Mom was right. Carrots are good for your eyes, thanks to the antioxidants, including beta-carotene, in them. (That's what makes them orange!) Dip them in hummus (made from canned beans), natural peanut butter or low-fat dressings.

14. Frozen spinach: $2 for 16 ounces (50 cents per serving)
Thaw and drain this good-for-your green, then toss it in omelets, soups, stir-fries and pasta sauces. Spinach is full of vitamins A, C, K, plus fiber and even calcium.

15. Canned tomatoes: $1 for 14.5 ounces (28 cents per serving)
Choose low-sodium varieties and throw a can in pasta sauces and chili to stretch a meal. Puree a can with a cup of skim milk and season to taste for your own tomato soup. You'll get a dose of vitamins A, B and C and lycopene, an antioxidant known to prevent cancer.

16. Garlic: 50 cents per head (5 cents per serving)
Ditch the bottled and powdered stuff if you want to reap more of the myriad health benefits. Pungent and tasty, garlic can help lower cholesterol and blood clots, plus it can have a small effect on high blood pressure. Crush or chop it to release more of the antioxidants.

17. Sweet potatoes: $1.49 per pound (37 cents per serving)
Aside from being sweet and delicious, these bright root vegetables are a great source of fiber and antioxidants. Bake, mash or roast them--you'll forget about those other, paler potatoes.

18. Onions: 97 cents each (32 cents per serving)
Like garlic, this smelly vegetable is full of health benefits. Onions have been proven to lower risks for certain cancers, and they add flavor with few calories. Try roasting them to bring out their sweetness and cut their harsh edge. (If you well up while cutting them, store onions in the fridge for a tear-free chop.)

19. Broccoli: $2.49 per pound (63 cents per serving)
Broccoli is like a toothbrush for your insides. Full of fiber, it will provide you vitamins A and C, plus fiber and a host of antioxidants. Broccoli is a superstar in the nutrition world.

Whole grains

20. Whole-grain pasta: $1.50 for 13.25 ounces (45 cents per serving)
With a nutty flavor and a subtle brown color, whole-wheat pasta perks up any meal. Start with half regular, half whole-wheat pasta, then gradually add more wheat pasta for a burst of fiber and nutrients.

21. Popcorn kernels: $2.39 for 32 ounces (30 cents per serving)
Air-popped popcorn has just 30 calories and a trace of fat. Pop a few cups, spritz with olive oil or butter spray and sprinkle on your favorite seasonings for a guilt-free treat.

22. Brown rice: $1.49 for 16 ounces (19 cents per serving)
Brown rice is a great side dish, but you can also use it to help stretch your ground meat. Mix a cup of cooked rice with 8 ounces of lean ground beef next time you make meatloaf to save 45 calories and five grams of fat (and some money) per serving.

23. Oats: $3.19 for 42 ounces (15 cents per serving)
Oatmeal is a hearty breakfast, but you can also cook sturdy steel-cut oats in chicken broth for a savory side dish. Or, mix oats with ground turkey to stretch your meatballs.

Dairy

24. Quarts of low- or fat-free yogurt: $2.49 for 32 ounces (47 cents per serving)
Buy large containers of plain or vanilla yogurt, then add real fruit. You'll save money and calories by not buying fancy single-serve yogurts.

25. Gallon of skim milk: $3.04 (19 cents per serving)
It really does a body good. Full of calcium and protein, milk can help stretch a meal. Pair an eight-ounce glass with a piece of fruit or a granola bar for a filling snack.

(Prices from Safeway.com, March 2009, Greater Philadelphia area)

new

new layout

new start

new ideas

new me?

I have seen, although i was pretty gungho, i lost my momentum

I admit with my twitter followers list going from 1 to 200 in the matter of 48 hours i felt like i had something to prove

I tried to prove something with not having the knowledge to follow through

the road to hell is paved with good intentions

well i have good intentions and now i am trying to do my research, try a new approach

I am trying to do my homework

I openly admit i have no idea about, well, much about anything at all lol

Baby steps i guess. I have been looking at a cook book that i picked up in a thrift store. It's called "Eat Well Feel Well" Now bear in mind it is a "specific carbohydrate diet" to help manage such conditions as IBS, Crohn's Disease, Colitus and other digestive conditions. Some of the information is useful in every day healthy eating.

Helpful info:

Sneaky ingredients to look for and try to avoid "these are some of the most common ingredients found in packaged food that you need to avoid. they are either multiple chain sugars or starches that feed bad bacteria in the gut. to find out more go to www.breakingtheviciouscyle.info"

DISCLAIMER I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THE ABOVE WEB PAGE I WAS JUST QUOTING THE COOK BOOK

AVOID:

cellulous

FOS (fructooligosaccharides)

kudzo, slippery elm and arrowroot

locust bean gum, guar gum, xantham gum, carrageenan

maltodextrin

pectin

potato starch

sorbitol, mannitol, and xylitol

soy flour

soy sauce (damn i love this one)

sucrose, fructose and evaporated cane juice

I also thought this was helpful too when buying spices its better to go fresh or ground

"beware of spice blends or mixes which can have sugar as a hidden ingredient"

ok well im off to go take a walk its cold out and i suspect it will get me moving a little quicker

*chubbychick

Looking forward

So, last blog was not so fluffy

sometimes life just is not fluffy.

I feel like i need some closure in my life

like maybe then the weight will just come off easier?

i know it sounds too good to be true.

I signed up for a cardio kick boxing class at the local community centre. it is every saturday in august from 10:30-11:25

i am not going to lie i am pretty much terrified. I know that sounds silly but i just worry. Can I keep up? will other people look at me? will i be the only fat chick in the class?

WHY DO I CARE?

I am going to go to the class and stand in the back and sweat my fat ass off. end of story!

I am really needing to get doing some type of work out. I know that once i get into it i will feel better and more confident. I took pilates a few years ago and was the same way.

Perhaps i will walk to work today

haunted by the ghosts of my past the extremely condensed version

this will likely be one of the harder blogs to write.

yes my blog is meant to follow my journey but part of your journey is turning around, looking your past in the face, recognizing how you got where you are today and then turning around and moving on.

i have not done this.

i feel like it is the horror movies when they know something terrible is standing right behind them.

sometimes turning around can be very terrifying.

i am not one to blame other people for who i have become. who i have become is the direct results of actions and choices that i have made in my life. i dont even know where to start

i have turned around but my eyes are still closed tight. ya - im a chicken.

i was born into a religious family. i never knew anything different. however living the life of a pastors daughter is not always as it appears.

sunshine and rainbows and koombyah?

thats bull shit.

i need to appologize now for the rest of this blog. not for what i say but for how brutally honest i am going to be and how raw.

i am not in any way saying every christian home was like mine. but mine was like a war zone. its true. my whole family is fat. my whole family was dysfunctional. emotions can cause people who are utterly miserable to eat.

on with the story (and i am condensing big time)

i do not remember a time in my life where my parents were in love. it was a constant screaming match. words are so terribly powerful. manipulation is like a weapon and actions can hurt more then a punch to the face.

i cannot recall much of my life prior to being in school. i guess i blocked it out. maybe it is better this way?

why is a fathers love, or lack there of so powerful?

going back as far as i can my dad was unemployed for much of my child hood. my mom worked midnight shifts and supported our family. she worked so much that when i woke up from a nightmare (which was every night) i usually called for my dad instead of mommy. she usually worked double shifts 3pm to 7am.

you may think ya so? but let me explain something. while my mom was working her ass off my father was left to watch me and my brother. yes this is common place today, however, he was so wrapped up in himself and what he wanted to do and gods calling on his life that he would often "forget" to feed us. he would send us to bed and then cook for himself. if we got out of bed to ask for something to eat no word of a lie he would lose his shit and scream at terrifying levels that i would often run and hide under my covers (because being the baby my brother always made me go and ask)

there was no happy father daughter bond. my dad used to spank us with a fist. he put my brother in a headlock in a rage and broke his glasses. he used his belt to spank our bare bottoms.

i would still prefer that to the emotional shit he put me through

rewind to the apx age of 11

picture this. world war just broke out in my house. screaming match of shattering proportions. dad gets ready to leave in a rage as he always did.

me: daddy where are you going

dad: im leaving

me: are you coming back?

dad: im going to go drive the van off the bridge

me: grabs his arm dad noooooo

dad: pushes me aside and slams the door

me: rides bike to every bridge in the city to see if i could find him

the park by the beach

there was this park by the beach that i used to go to

they had a swing that looked like it was a boat

i used to lay down in it on my back and swing for hours that way

watching the clouds roll past the tree tops and i would pretend that i was floating away from it all to a land where families loved each other.

fast forward for the sake of your sanity and you get the gist of the childhood i had

high school - missed every music festival every solo at church the christmas play where i had the lead role.

college - i went out of province and he was driving to pick me up. i had not heard from him. when i finally reached him (AT HOME) the night before school let out he told me he wasnt coming. mom had to borrow money for the plane fare home

college graduation - same deal promised to be there and just didnt show up

now i mean none of this to sound like a spoiled brat. my dad favored my brother. he was at everything my brother ever did

after college - went to visit the drop in centre that dad ran. i had taken a photo of my brother and a photo of me in frames to put on his desk when one of his friends walked in. commenting on how good my brother looked and talked about all the things he was involved in.....then picked up my photo and said

friend: who is this?

me: thats me?

friend: and who are you?

me: i am his daughter

friend...........................................I never knew he had a daughter

i never knew he had a daughter

this was the first of several times i heard this.

it never got easier to hear.

i am not going to lie....i just got up from typing this to look for something to eat. feed the pain but you never quench the hunger. there is nothing to munch on so on i type

fast forward to 2004

i was out on my own at this time. dad had remarried. that is another story in itself. dad regularly called my brother and i often found out news through him and ended up calling dad. it was at that time in june that i thought hmm. im going to prove a point here and stop calling dad. i wanted to see how long it took him to realize and call me.

fast forward to christmas 2004. i still had not spoken to my dad and i was at moms house for the day and the phone rang. my brother answered it and was talking to my dad. after a while he said merry christmas too dad and then hung up. i said why did you hang up????? he said well dad didnt ask to talk to you.

fast forward to march 9, 2005

i worked late and came home and turned on the computer to check my email.

from: mom

subject: i dont have your work emergency number

dad had a heart attack he is in the hospital call me

the next day was a whirl wind. i had to call in absent at work and drive with my brother to buffalo (dad and step mom lived in the states)

note to those still reading my dad was an exaggerator. i fully expected to walk in his hospital room to see him sitting there moaning and groaning about the tragic experience he had

we walked to the nurses station and identified ourselves as his children and were pointed down the hall and told the room number.

i walked in first and was not prepared in the slightest for what awaited me.

he was not conscious and when he breathed in his whole body moved to struggle for air and the sound.....i wish i could forget the sound of the rattle that came with his breath. i guess that moment that seemed so long to me was short because we were still walking in the room. i turned around so fast to run out that i banged right into my brother. i said i cant do this. i ran to the nurses station to ask if that was normal.

it was then she told me it was and walked me back to his room while explaining that sometimes he did stop breathing all together. she came in and suctioned his throat and then asked

nurse: do you want tea?

me: no

nurse: coffee?

me: no

nurse: do you want juice?

me: flops down into the nearest chair and beginning to cry I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT

she then told me dont cry or you will make me cry.....news flash this is an icu maybe you are in the wrong line of work

we spent the next several hours talking in his room

when he stopped breathing so did we

then he would breath again and we would continue talking.

i couldnt tell you what we talked about.

after 10 months with no talking this was how it ended. i stood by his bed before we left and i knew once i left i would never see him alive again....if you call that alive

i said bye dad. i love you (i hadnt said that in years and it felt like a foreign language) a single tear rolled down his cheek

the doctor told me he couldnt hear me but i think he did.

his funeral was 10 days later

i carried such guilt. i had been so hurt by him that i stopped talking to him and actually asked god to take him out of my life because that just seemed easier.

i still have some guilt and a lot of regrets.

i still have a sense that i dont deserve goodness

like i have to pay for my mistakes

like i have to hold the guilt.....if i let it go i let him go

if i let it go i let go of any hope of having a relationship

i let go of the dream of him walking me down the isle

of him watching me have kids

of any dream the little girl in me still may have.

so i ate. i ate with the power of the hate and sadness and guilt and remorse and sense of deserving nothing at all

i missed a whole other chapter of trama in my life but i just cant go on anymore about that

i really am trying to condition myself to believe i am worthy

worthy of peoples love and trust

worthy of my own love and trust

worthy to be happy

worthy to take care of myself

worthy to look good feel good and be ok with that

worthy to deserve.

its a journey and thats where it started but this is not where i am going to let it end.

i used to weigh 280 pounds. in january this year i weighed 234.4 i went down to 219 and am back up to 224.5

it is a struggle for me

i started this blog to inspire other with half assed inspiration for myself

so i lay it out there

transparent to you

i need support just as much as you do

i feel like im failing and floundering

and with that i turn back around and try to leave the scary monster behind me

this one's for me

Dear ChubbyChick,

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???!

You really need to get off your ass and start moving. Look, I know its a challenge with working evenings to get to a gym......god i know. But there has to be SOMETHING you could do?! I am impressed that this week you attempted to eat better again (I was beginning to worry you were not going to get back on the wagon) But you really do need to stop eating just because you are bored and you stay up way too late.

I know you know all this already but there is a line between blogging and thinking about it and actually EMPOWERING yourself to do it.

you do not need a work out partner

you do not need a cooking or shopping buddy

YOU ARE A GROWN ASS WOMAN! DO IT YOUR DAMN SELF!!

love,

that little nagging voice inside your head

xoxo

Watch out for the "Weight Loss Saviour's"

I had a conversation with a friend this last week and we were discussing how frustrating it is when you encounter what i call a "weight loss saviour"

You know....we all encounter them. Those friends, co-workers, family members, gym employees. The one's who feel that they have somehow contributed to your weight loss successes.

Now don't get me wrong, there are some friends and supporters who are wonderful encourager's and cheer leaders that is not my point.

I have had a couple of weight loss saviours in my life. When i first started my journey i weighed 280 pounds. i took a trip to mexico and it was when i got the pictures back and saw just how big i was. it was then that i knew it was time to start losing weight.

I lived with a guy friend at the time who was always pestering me about reading labels and going to the gym (which i may add i was doing 3 times a week with or without his nagging). Long story short we had a huge fight and i moved out. He said when he asked me to move in he thought i was a poor pathetic fat girl with no friends and i should basically kiss the ground he walked on because he made me what i was and if it was not for him i would not have lost the weight.

I need to stop right here and say:

I WAS THE ONE WHO DRAGGED MY FAT ASS TO THE GYM

I WAS THE ONE WHO NEARLY DIED ON THE STAIR MACHINE

I WAS THE ONE WHO GAVE UP A LOT OF BAD FOODS

I WAS THE ONE WHO SWAM LAPS FOR AN HOUR 3 TIMES A WEEK

I OWE NO ONE FOR MY WEIGHT LOSS BUT MYSELF

I want to shout it from the roof tops.

IT IS TO NO ONE ELSE'S CREDIT IF YOU ARE LOSING WEIGHT!!!!!

I don't feel like i'm getting my words out right but it's so important that you OWN YOUR OWN SELF AND SUCCESS!!!!!

please do not let anyone steal your pride

please do not let anyone make you feel like you owe them anything

keep sweating your ass off

keep pushing yourself a little harder

keep trying

and if you feel like you messed up keep kicking your own ass!! Don't let anyone else do that for you!

rocky road and no i dont mean ice cream

so im not gonna sugar coat it

i have been going through a rough time and have given in and fed the pain

im not going to get into all the craptastic details

but im really struggling to slap a smile on my face

which in turn makes it harder to care enough about me to eat healthy

i hate that eating is a lot of times.....the majority of times....an emotional thing

how do i suck it up and get over that part of it

why is diet and exercise so complicated

i dont have the energy to try to figure out calories or fat content or all that :(

empowerment

sorry it has taken so long to sit down and blog. i was in the midst of a move and going on vacation all within a 4 week span.

post vacation weight (including monthly bloating) 225

oops.

WATCH OUT FOR 24 HOUR ALL YOU CAN EAT ON A BOAT LOL

however, that being said, i do NOT feel guilty at all! Yes i indulged in too much food and too much booze but DAMN I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!!

I have been contemplating why i had been feeling so defeated and low. I had so much going on. I had been living in an unhealthy environment with a controlling and emotionally and verbally abusive friend. I have been allowing work to walk all over me and treat me like crap.

Empowerment is a choice

Healthy living is a choice

Sense of self worth is a choice

YOUR OWN HAPPINESS IS YOUR CHOICE!

today i am choosing to be empowered

today i am choosing to live healthy

today i am standing on a chair and shouting I DESERVE GOODNESS AND KINDNESS

today i am choosing to be happy with myself, weather it be fat, skinny, bags under my eyes, gap in my teeth, veiny eye lids and whatever other flaw i may have

OUR FLAWS REALLY ARE OUR UNIQUENESS THAT WE NEED TO EMBRACE!

on my vacation I had a friend stare deep into my eyes and just speak to my soul. Her words were not profound "you have worked so hard. you deserve this. do not allow anyone to make you feel less then fabulous" Her words evoked such an emotion in me that tears began to flow. I do not cry often let alone publicly but today i want to say to you:

"you have worked so hard. you deserve this. do not allow anyone to make you feel less then fabulous"

so today CHOOSE TO EMPOWER YOURSELF TO OWN YOUR OWN SELF AND LIVE FAB!

hectic life of me!

so i have been going through a lot of life changes the last few weeks that have kept me very busy but i am here tonight and am taking a blogger break!

I HAD A SMALL VICTORY TODAY!

the levi jeans that i have that i normally have to jump up and down, swear, jump up and down some more, throw myself on the bed and squirm with my foot on the wall to even try to get them done up....you get the idea! lol well today i pulled them out of the dryer and with one little hop

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzip!!

THEY DID UP!!!!

I still am stuck at 220.6 and have been doing what girlgonehealthy tells us not to do and have been stress eating a lot :(

the weather is getting better i think i need to walk my ass off! Help the planet by leaving the car in the drive way too!

Trying to figure out how to keep from the nibbling on the bad stuff and just get back to it!

I just need a get away from all this stress!

the end lol

I'm sorry for the delay

It seems that not only blog posts get ignored when you have a LOT going on in your life.

I am sorry for that. I am going through some changes in my life that have me very busy and preoccupied and TOTALLY stressed out

I have managed not to gain any weight but i have cheated. it seems so easy in the midst of running around like a chicken with your head cut off to stop at the vending machine for 2 oatmeal cookies for 50 cents

I know i have said that its ok to have treats in moderation but it seems with me treat = GUILT

I feel like I dont get enough of something too. I have to figure it out. I have been having headaches and sometimes feel shaky.

I am exhausted lately and will be super busy for the next couple more weeks but i will make an effort to share my thoughts and feelings with you all. I am down to 220.8 that is 13.2 pounds lost now since January 25th and in total its 59.2 pounds down from my heaviest of 280

I have no direction in this blog sorry but i wanted to put something down.

I am going to think of a new topic and spend some time really blogging

peace out

slump

i guess i have been in a bit of a slump since the easter candy disaster

you know i am back now tho!! I have a few things on my mind.

1) is it ok to eat treats or things not really on your diet but in low doses?
2) does depriving yourself of said food treats cause you to finally give in but with a vengance and bindge on the treat??
3) WHY IS GOING OUT TO A RESTAURANT SO DAMN HARD! I went over the menu yesterday with a fine tooth comb before finally just having a turkey sandwhich on whole wheat with a side salad.

there is creamy sauces and cheese and breaded coatings on like EVERYTHING. I felt so bad for taking so long but it really was frustrating.

I did have a great time out with a few friends but it seemed a lot harder then it should have been. I feel like I am not easily intigrating into a normal world. Its easier to do portion control and meal preps and snacks at home.

I guess thats the wall i have run into the last week or so. i have been super busy so getting any work outs have been at the times when i am far too tire (yes i know i need a plan)

I NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW HEALTHY LIVING AND EATING FIT INTO A NORMAL WORLD

where the hell is the biggest loser ranch when i need it???

week 2 weigh in

so the easter bunny came and went so my weight loss was not so spectacular.

week 2 weighs me in at 224

next week i hope for a bigger number......i feel slightly discouraged and disappointed in my lack of will power over the treats and chocolate

insert a sad face here

wow! what a busy weekend. work work work

the easter bunny is evil

spreading his evil chocolaty goodness everywhere you turn

ugh

cheat fest is OVER

IT IS TIME TO OWN MY OWN LIFE

STOP LETTING SWEETS AND JUNK HAVE POWER OVER ME

I NEED HELP!!!

How do you get a chance to get your work out in when your life gets busy and work keeps changing your schedule around on you???

I am trying to keep eating right but gosh i havent worked out in 4 days now.

I know take the stairs at work or take a walk on lunch break

ANY SUGGESTIONS?? i am starting to feel lazy but it really is hard to work out before work and then i get home at like 11 some nights

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllp!

I will have to post later just wanted to check in i have an out of town appointment to go to today

wish me luck

catch ya all tomorrow!

todays meal plan

I had 2 hard boiled eggs and 2 peices of turkey bacon when i got up and at it (likely around 10:30)

12:30: weight control oatmeal with a sprinkle of cinnimon

3:00: a few black berries

5:00: 1 baked chicken breast

7:00: some baby carrots with a small amount low fat ranch dressing

9:00: an apple

I get off work at 11 so i am hoping that I will not be hungry when i get home. if i am i will most likely eat a few raw almonds with a glass of water

week one weigh in!

so it has officially been *uses creepy horror movie whisper* seven days!

I weight in at 11am eastern standard time and the weight was

drum roll please

224.8 pounds!!

that is a total loss of 4.2 pounds!

i know that it really is losing water weight at this point but what a great motivator!! I cant wait to get out of the 22o's and get down into the teens!!

I know i have not posted on here what my goal weight is.....i dont really know what it should be but at this point my goal is to get below 200 pounds for the first time since high school!

I forgot to mention that i weighed in today at 226.8!!! I know i am only supposed to do it once a week but i was curious ya know!

all the changes in food and working out (i just finished before i started blogging and my abs are still killing me) i just wanted to see if there was anything different to note besides green poop lol.

I have noticed that in the last 6 days my endurance has gotten better - i worked out monday and tuesday i took wednesday off because i couldnt move worked out thursday took friday off and then did saturday and today.

Sure they are only 20 minutes long but if any other totally out of shape 5 foot almost 3 229 pound chubby would attest its freaking hard!

I will admit tonight i have been totally craving pizza. I havent craved any junk all week.

I think it is because i have been off all weekend and today i have not left the house.

I am conditioned to eat out of boredom, anger, sadness, frustration, happiness.....you get my point.

I am learning daily more and more that weight loss for me anyway is more of internal changes...the whole making my insides match my outsides and vice versa.

I am not going to use my circumstances as excuses to continue to fail. I dont FEEL like a fat person on the inside. Im tired of feeling bad because my outsides are fat.

this journey for me is touching emotional, physical and spiritual.

BUT hear me on this. I ACCEPT MYSELF FOR WHO I AM. I WANT TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK BETTER AND FEEL BETTER WITHOUT FEELING AS THOUGH WHO I AM IS INFERIOR.

damn right i will bitch and moan and wallow maybe even cheat sometimes but i like feeling like im in control of me even if its not that much control yet!

i feel sweaty and sore and content.......get out of my head double cheese pizza!

wow im still not used to consuming this much water. i never used to drink any water at all. i know its good and all but sheesh! its never ending trips to the washroom lol.

I am getting used to eating small meals every 2 to 3 hours now and am not so hungry but it is weird i really am feeling like i am eating ALL the time

Still need a course on how to read the back of labels right and know what the heck they mean....anyone have any tips??

i also have not felt sluggish or depressed or so short tempered since i have changed my diet this way.....even at work where i am always feeling super stressed.

I need to step it up on the working out though i have missed 2 days out of the last 6 days.

Does anyone know are crunches more or just as effective when done on a stability ball?

some things i learned today

excessive amounts of vegetables and salad makes me reallllllly gassy

I need help to understand those white boxes on the backs of labels to know if something is good or bad

the more times i work out the longer i seem to be able to do the stuff ie jumping jacks and jump rope

butt kicks are from the devil

for that matter bicycle crunches are also from the devil

back to the excessive amounts of vegetables.......your poop changes colour.....this was a fact that gave me a minor coronary but i was assured that it is normal! phew!

ok with that being said i just worked out and im hungry i think i will finsh the night with an apple

dont say i didnt warn ya lol

misconceptions and stereotypes

I really wanted to take time to acknowledge a few things to myself and anyone else reading this

*fat people dont always eat like pigs or sweat when they eat (my thin friends can out eat me and i can only eat one plate at a buffet)

*fat girls are not all easy lays

*fat people are not all dirty or smelly - as a matter of fact i have an addiction to bubble baths

*FAT PEOPLE ARE NOT LESSER IN IMPORTANCE THEN ANYONE HALF THEIR SIZE

*not all fat people are depressed

*not all fat people have low body image

*IT IS OK FOR FAT PEOPLE TO LIKE THEMSELVES EVEN THOUGH SOCIETY SAYS THEY ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH OR PRETTY ENOUGH (as a matter of fact i am prettier and nicer then a whole lot of superficial skinny bitches)

*not all fat people are lazy.....I work 3 jobs and have a life thank you very much!

I am so sick of society dictating how i should feel about how i look. TRUTH IS BEING FAT IS NOT HEALTHY. THIS is why i am embarking on this journey. I want to be healthier. I want to have more energy and less stress.

I think if more chubbies could grasp this and start feeling better about WHO THEY ARE not what they look like we would start seeing more motivation to succeed at healthy living.

I for one have lived to long under the misconception that i will never be good enough or determined enough. I have lived to long with the mindset that I will always be fat. my parents were fat, genetically i come from a big hips big ass family. that is where i came from and sure i may never be skinny but i will get healthy and thinner and more active. I AM NOT A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCES. As a wise friend told me. THIS IS THE YEAR FOR ME. I am weeding out toxic friends and relationships and habits. this is the year to make me a better me.

enjoy my journey and know that this is your time too. be the best you that you can be

ok so tip of the day do not drink all 8 cups of water for your day while you are at work. I have been to the bathroom every 10 minutes!

I almost forgot when i weighed in on monday my scale said 229.2

i am going to weigh in once a week so monday we will see how much i shed

The Start of it all

It's been 5 days since i started this new working out concept. I have already went to Mcdonalds to "celebrate" a shitty day at work. lol I know i am not the only one who feeds her pain.....c'mon now! BUUUT Monday I started doing Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. OOOWWWW!! I did it Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. It's a non stop 20 minute work out working on strength, cardio and abs. Its tough and you will sweat more then you think you would in a 20 minute work out but i pushed myself!

Also went to the grocery store yesterday (it was pay day) and bought all kinds of healthy foods. Thankfully i have a friend in New Mexico who has lost a lot of weight and done her research tweeting me what to get lol

Today's Menu:

(around 10am)

Breakfast 1 cup yogurt, 5 strawberries and 8 black berries

noon: Large salad with spring mixed greens, shredded carrots, sliced mushrooms, chopped green onions and sliced raw almonds and a light drizzle of balsamic dressing

around 2 i will eat an apple with 1 tbsp of almond butter

around 4 i will eat 2 hard boiled eggs

around 6 i will eat 1 pack of weight control oatmeal with ground cinnamon on top

i am off work at 8pm so i will come home do my work out then eat a salad before bed

wish me luch i have the vending machine in my eye line from my desk!

Hey i know i am not the only one that hears the doritos whispering her name......right?

Chubby Chick signing out!