all the changes in food and working out (i just finished before i started blogging and my abs are still killing me) i just wanted to see if there was anything different to note besides green poop lol.
I have noticed that in the last 6 days my endurance has gotten better - i worked out monday and tuesday i took wednesday off because i couldnt move worked out thursday took friday off and then did saturday and today.
Sure they are only 20 minutes long but if any other totally out of shape 5 foot almost 3 229 pound chubby would attest its freaking hard!
I will admit tonight i have been totally craving pizza. I havent craved any junk all week.
I think it is because i have been off all weekend and today i have not left the house.
I am conditioned to eat out of boredom, anger, sadness, frustration, happiness.....you get my point.
I am learning daily more and more that weight loss for me anyway is more of internal changes...the whole making my insides match my outsides and vice versa.
I am not going to use my circumstances as excuses to continue to fail. I dont FEEL like a fat person on the inside. Im tired of feeling bad because my outsides are fat.
this journey for me is touching emotional, physical and spiritual.
BUT hear me on this. I ACCEPT MYSELF FOR WHO I AM. I WANT TO MAKE MYSELF LOOK BETTER AND FEEL BETTER WITHOUT FEELING AS THOUGH WHO I AM IS INFERIOR.
damn right i will bitch and moan and wallow maybe even cheat sometimes but i like feeling like im in control of me even if its not that much control yet!
i feel sweaty and sore and content.......get out of my head double cheese pizza!
I UNDERSTAND the conditioning to eat out of boredom, anger, sadness, and frustration. I finally had to tell myself, "I am eating to give my body nutrients. Food is not a comfort. It merely sustains my life. Treat it with respect!!"
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